A Bengaluru Woman’s Heartfelt Struggle with Diwali Traditions

A young woman from Bengaluru recently shared her poignant experience regarding the celebration of Diwali, revealing her husband's recurring excuses for not spending the festival with her family. Her heartfelt Reddit post has sparked discussions about lingering gender biases in modern marriages.

Married for three years, she explained that both she and her husband hail from different cities—he's from Rajasthan and she from Pune. Initially, they celebrated Diwali with his family, but this year they couldn't due to work commitments and high travel costs.

“We’ve visited his hometown several times this year, so staying back made sense,” she mentioned, acknowledging the tension this decision caused with her in-laws.

During their conversation, she expressed her desire to visit her family next year, stating, “I haven’t celebrated with my family for three years now, and I miss them.” However, her husband's reaction made her feel as though she needed his approval to make this happen.

He suggested they could spend Diwali at his place and visit hers the next day, but when she flipped the scenario, he laughed awkwardly. His other suggestions, such as inviting her family over, seemed impractical given their circumstances.

She noted a troubling awareness of how deeply entrenched patriarchal norms can impact even seemingly equal relationships. Her husband’s admission, “I know this should change, but I’ve only seen this for 32 years,” reflects a reluctance to challenge traditional roles.

In the end, she expressed frustration at feeling that she needed to negotiate her family’s inclusion in their celebrations, underscoring the subtle yet pervasive nature of patriarchy. “A good man would just offer to alternate celebrations,” she concluded.

Responses from Reddit users ranged from shared experiences to advice for her to prioritize her family's needs, highlighting a broader conversation about gender equality and the expectations placed on women in marriage.

As the discussion unfolds, the question remains: how can couples navigate these cultural expectations while ensuring both partners feel valued and heard?